The Oaxaca Project

There are particular items that commonly frighten the parents and Kids with cancer.

Here are 3 major ones.
1. Going to the hospital
Being in the hospital itself reminds the child and parent of the illness they are dealing with. In many instances the child is resistant to going to the hospital and may even cause arguments. Parents too can feel the stress of being in the hospital. For both, being at home feels “normal” but in the hospital you can’t deny that there is a problem. It is even painted on the wall “Oncology” to remind one of what is really going on.

2. Another child passes on
The child wonders if he/she will be next and the parents worry that their child will be next.

A child passing on reminds one of the fragility of the life. For example, one child got a fever and passed on in 3 days. The other parents and children are affected by this experience because they know that it “could” happen to them that quickly too. In another example, a child suffered for months before passing. This too causes worry and stress in the child and parents as no one wants to suffer or watch someone suffer when they are living and less so when they are dying.

3. Losing their Hair
It is traumatic for child and parent to see clumps of hair falling out after chemo treatments. It is a dramatic sign that this is about cancer. There is no denying the look of someone with what I’ll call “chemo hair”. Once it all falls out including eyelashes and eyebrows the child is “marked” as a child with cancer. For some children it makes going out in public embarrassing. It means people may stare or ask questions. Even acquaintances will “know” something is wrong with you.

Ways to Release these Fears
In all of these cases, I use EFT to help the children and parents release these fears and anxieties. (EFT is explained on my website Emotional Freedom Techniques) I also help them reframe the experiences. Let me give you an example for each.

1. Going to the hospital
Use EFT on the individual emotional fears that come up since the reason to be frightened of the hospital for each person will vary. It could be:
The hospital itself or what it represents (illness)
Not understanding the doctor
Being afraid of needles and being poked many times
Feeling powerless while waiting in the hospital
Thinking about illness the whole time in the hospital

Instill new beliefs:
It’s ok to ask questions in order to understand the treatments
The hospital is a place of healing not illness – as a road to healing
Let’s choose to focus is on something positive while in hospital

2. Another child passes on
Tap on the fear of dying, on being next, fear of unknown, fear of loss of child, fear of knowing another child passed on

Instill new beliefs:
Just because one child passed on, it doesn’t mean that we’ll be next. Each child (or adult) has their own experience and timeline.
Let’s choose to use this experience as an opportunity to focus on my desire to heal.

3. Losing their Hair
Tap on the emotions associated with losing one’s hair: the image, the stares, the desire to hide, feeling ugly, not feeling beautiful

Instill new beliefs:
Let’s choose to use this experience as an opportunity to accept that my true beauty comes from within.

As one helps the child and parent release these fears, their quality of life improves.