The Oaxaca Project

Belem came into the hospital for a shot today but is all happy and content. She feels good because “Life is Sweet” now that she is staying at home again. Remember she was sad before because she wanted to go home and couldn’t because of her treatments.

We talked about her tapping experience at home. This is what I found out.
- She is tapping every day using her TappyBear. Basically she talks to him about all that has transpired during the day while she taps. She says it makes her feel very calm and happy.
- She is eating well and taking care of herself. Her blood sugar levels have stabilized.
- She knows it is important to have a positive attitude.
- She taught her siblings how to use EFT with TappyBear. Her 18 year old brother was skeptical, but she found him tapping on Tappy one afternoon when he was feeling sad.
- She shared how to tap on yourself and with Tappy with her girlfriends. They love tapping. Now they too are tapping away.

Deep down she now believes that “life is sweet”. When you see her you feel her sweetness.

Belem is a delightful young lady recently diagnosed with leukemia. After 3 weeks in the hospital all she wanted to do was go home, be with her family and eat her mother’s home cooked meals especially her tortillas.

She was told that her blood sugar was up possibly at diabetic levels. This made her even sadder as her mother is diabetic. She felt she would be letting her mother down if she too were diabetic. Yet, she was hungry, losing weight and missing her home and family.

We tapped:
Even tho I’m sad and just want to go home, I’m a great young lady.
Even tho I’m so tired of the hospital and want to go home, I’m a wonderful girl.
Even tho I miss my mom very much, I am a good girl.

It’s ok to give up my mom’s wonderful tortillas for a few days so I can get my blood sugar back to normal.
I don’t want my mom to be disappointed in me.
I feel that if I have diabetes too I’ll disappoint her.
I don’t want to do that.
I love my mom.
Being in the hospital is the best place to make sure my blood sugar goes back to normal.
I want to get better sooner.
I choose to be ok here in the hospital for a few more days.

She calmed down.

I asked her what wasn’t sweet in her life. She doesn’t like how her mother is sad sometimes. I asked if she thought there was something in her mother’s life that wasn’t sweet either. I was making a correlation between diabetes (too much sugar in blood) and the need to make life sweeter than it was (due to lack of sweetness). We discovered some old patterns that her mother had learned that made her sad and feel life isn’t sweet or the life is hard.

We tapped:
Even tho my mom is sad and feels life isn’t always sweet, I’m a great young lady.
Even tho I sometimes feel like life isn’t sweet like when I have to stay in the hospital and I want to go home, I love myself.
Even tho my life isn’t always sweet, I’m a sweet young lady.

Life isn’t always sweet.
Sometimes life is hard.
I can make choices about how I feel.
I can feel like life is bitter and hard or I can choose to find the sweetness in it.
I can be happy. I can choose to be happy even while I’m in the hospital.
I can choose to look for the sweet things in life and enjoy them.
I can even talk to my body and let it know that I want to focus on the sweet things so that it doesn’t have to make too much sugar in my blood.
I can be happy wherever I am.
That is my gift to myself and my family – to break the old pattern that life is not sweet.
I can make life sweet with my attitude.

She perked up and gave me an incredible look. She said she can be happy all the time like me. I told her that I’m not always happy but that anytime something comes up I choose to look at it and figure out what to do to let myself feel better. Then I became happy again. She decided she’d like to give the gift of being happy to herself and her family.

A few days later Till Schilling and I arrived in the hospital with the TappyBears donated to the Oaxaca Project. I gave one to Belem. It warmed my heart to do so. When I gave her Tappy I said he is yours and he will be a reminder to you that every day can be sweet. She flashed me the biggest smile.

Deborah and Belem

Belem

Paulina could use some help from us. After a series of radiation treatments she is so weak that she barely stays awake and has lost all interest in eating.

If you feel inspired to do surrogate EFT for her or send her blessings, it would be greatly appreciated.

Paulina

Paolo’s Relapse and Sadness
One of the difficult things for me is when a child has a relapse, especially one of my favorites. Paolo is one of my favorites. He is usually charming, bright, outspoken, dynamic and amazing. To see him so sad, so low is difficult.

Till watched me work with Paolo and was quite moved by the shift in Paolo from sad to at peace. In this photo even I can see how much I adore him and want to see him well. I do what I do without thinking about it so seeing this photo helped me see how others see me.

Paolo and Deborah

In the following days he was again sad. Again we tapped to release the sadness, but I could see that he didn’t want to release it. It was a matter of finding out why. I didn’t have to look far to find out.

His mother was with him. I could see she was sad too. I tapped with her about her sadness, the sadness that Paolo is back in the hospital and how that affects her. In addition, she has a 6 month old that she isn’t allowed to bring into the hospital. That creates a terrible conflict of how to love both children and take care of them both.

She was sad, overwhelmed and felt she couldn’t ask for support, even though she desperately needed it. We tapped to remove that sadness in of her mind. Interesting thing is that the last time I tapped with Paolo he had a headache, coincidence? We continued to tap to remove this sadness and to feel it was all right to ask for help. Not necessarily directly ask for help but that the help needed comes. I stated that I was here to help Paolo and her release the emotional stress they were feeling as a simple proof that what you need shows up. She smiled. By the time we finished tapping you could literally see her more relaxed and so was Paolo.

The next time I tapped with Paolo he wasn’t so sad. I asked if it helps when your mom doesn’t feel so sad. He said yes.

Family Effect
Here is an example of the family connection involved in helping children with cancer. The emotions of their families affect them just as their emotions affect their families. Also my emotions as a volunteer and EFT practitioner have an affect on the children.

The bottom line is the emotions we feel can affect others positively or negatively. The benefit of being conscious of this is that one can choose to feel good knowing it can have a beneficial effect on those around us. Pay attention to your emotions and how they are affecting those around you.

My desire is that we all choose happier emotions so that we feel at peace and capable of loving so that we create a beneficial effect.

Surrogate Tapping
I would like to propose that those of you who like to surrogate tap, tap for Paolo. Paolo and I would greatly appreciate any tapping you could do for him to release his sadness about being ill again. He is totally in agreed with me asking those inspired to do so. We thank you in advance.

Oye tu. Ven aca!
Hey you. Come here!

This phrase explains perfectly the incredible power of Joaquin, a young man just under 3 years of age. He would point, smile, hand you something and you would literally do whatever he wished without him saying a word. He is an amazing young man.

Joaquin

Josue is a new youngster in the hospital. He has been grumpy, angry, sad and upset for the past few days. So much so that I didn’t feel like I could approach him except to say hello.

Josue being introduced to Tappy

Till and I were giving out TappyBears (thanks to the donations). I came up to Josue to ask if he’d like one. As his curiosity was peaked by watching the other children receive theirs, he said yes. I sat down and showed him Tappy. I went through the points and tapped for him on Tappy. I tapped how he was a good boy, very handsome, intelligent, wonderful. That got him to smile. I tapped that he didn’t have to be angry cuz he was a wonderful young boy. We could take all that angry and throw it away. He could be happy and get better. He watched me, smiled and even laughed.

As I was tapping and his son began to smile, his father repeatedly stated with such joy in his eyes that he’s been trying to get Josue to smile for 3 days but couldn’t because he was so angry. He repeated how happy he was to see his son smile.

When I walked away, I turned around and saw that the father had taken Tappy, was leaning down close to his son, and tapping on his son then on Tappy saying phrases similar to those I used. There was deep joy in both of them.

Josue and Dad Tapping

This story is an example of what these donations are helping bring about. Once again, I send my heartfelt thanks to those who have donated to the Kids with Cancer Project. Your donations have made so much more possible in this project that brings out my passion and love for children.

Here’s a kiss from Josue

Josue blows you a kiss

I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Nick, Jessica, Alex and Martin Ortner for choosing my project with the Kids with Cancer in Oaxaca as the recipient of their heart-felt desire to be of service. The results are beginning to come in already.

I give my deepest gratitude to all of you who were inspired to donate to the Project. You are the ones who have made what it possible for me to touch even more children and families. Thank you! My desire is that all of you are blessed at least a 1000 fold for your support of these children and me.

I would like to share a few examples of how your support has already helped many children.

1. Now I can walk into the hospital and immediately give a TappyBear to a child who would love to have one to use while tapping. It is the greatest sensation knowing that the child receives this loving gift along with the ability to tap. Before I had to tell the children they could be included in a “raffle” in order to “win” a Tappy. It was the only way I could think to make it fair as each child wanted their own Tappy. To be a “winner” felt like a good option when having a limited supply of Tappys to donate.

2. I am able to set up private tapping sessions with some of the families with a child with cancer. Out of the hospital setting the families have more privacy in which to share the deeper issues going on in their families. This allows me to help them remove deeper emotional root causes of what has transpired and influenced the health of the child and family.

3. . More videos and photos have been taken to help document the tapping work with the children.

4. As a result of Till’s arrival in the hospital to help me give out Tappys, the Director of the hospital opened his doors to us for a conversation. It may lead to the opportunity for me to teach others what I do and to set up a research project to document what I’m doing.

To all who have donated now or in the past. I appreciate you so very much too.
That’s just the beginning. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Love
Deborah

When I walked into the cancer area I could see Alejandra with tears in her eyes. The nurse said they were about to put in an IV. Alejandra’s experience of this process is one of pain and she doesn’t want to experience this pain again.

I asked the nurse if she would wait until I worked with Alejandra and she said yes. I appreciate the nurse’s patience and her desire that by releasing the fear Alejandra has that hopefully the experience would be better for them all. It is not pleasant for the nurses to put in the IV when it is a painful and difficult process for the child.

I sat down next to Alejandra. I asked her what she felt about them putting in the IV. It was fear. We tapped on the fear of the IV, of it hurting, that it was always painful, that the nurses poked her many times. The fear was in her heart and chest. We tapped until she didn’t feel that fear because she could imagine taking that fear out of her heart and chest. I continued by tapping on the power she has over what happens to her body especially when she “talks” to her body about what she would like:
- to feel calm even when an IV is put in
- to get better and heal completely
- that it would be easy to find a vein and it would easily stay open

I asked her what animal makes her feel good. It was a rabbit. She always felt calm around them. We tapped about how good she feels when she focuses on the rabbits.

I had her next imagine going into the treatment room and the nurse getting the needles ready. Again the fear returned to her chest. We tapped until she calmed again. When I asked again what she was afraid of it was the needle itself. We tapped until she didn’t feel afraid to think about the needle.

At this point she could imagine going into the treatment room without fear. We then moved to the treatment room and she was still calm. I told her to tell me the second she felt any fear. She stayed calm until the nurse actually poked through her skin. Alejandra felt pain and screamed. I stayed at her side and continued to tap and tap and tap. She would calm some, then get agitated, then calm.

Unfortunately, this vein broke so it was necessary to look for another. This is a common experience for Alejandra. I continued to tap, but had her focus on the rabbits, while tapping that even her veins were going to cooperate to make this a better experience.

As the nurse looked for and found another vein, I continued to tap on Alejandra. She was still upset, but the tapping continued to calm her. I continued to tap and at one point I said: “If I don’t want to be poked anymore then it is time to heal so I don’t have to be.” Alejandra’s eyes opened wide almost as if it hadn’t occurred to her that healing her body would stop the need to be poked. This was an important moment for Alejandra to have that insight.

I continued to tap that she can heal and she can ask her body to heal. This time the vein was good, the blood sample was taken, there was no pain, and before Alejandra knew it, she was all finished.

Was this a completely painless experience? No, but it was very different from what Alejandra normally experiences. Many times the nurse must poke her up to 5 times to get a good vein. Thus, the experience is stressful for Alejandra and for the nurses. This time it was calmer and the second vein opened so easily and without pain.

I told Alejandra that we didn’t get it without pain the first time but the continued tapping and desire for it to be easy let the next one be without so much better. Sometimes it requires that we practice tapping.

A few days later she had another IV put in when I was not present. I checked with the nurse (a different one than the day I did tap) and she told me that Alejandra was much calmer than usual after I shared with her what had occurred in our tapping session.

My point is that sometimes we must persist in our tapping and visualizing. Alejandra has many many experiences where putting in an IV is painful. Showing her that tapping a few times will allow her to reduce that fear and pain will help her understand that she will be able to create a completely new experience. She likes that very much.

It’s here! The teleclass series I gave on Helping Kids with Cancer. If you want to learn more about how I’ve worked with the kids, parents, interns and doctors, these four classes will help you do so.

It is such an honor to work with these children and now to help others in similar situations manage their emotions while helping a loved one with cancer.

Working with the kids with cancer has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It has changed me, stimulated growth and maturation, and transformed me. These amazing young teachers have opened my heart in ways I never thought possible. I never dreamed of going into a hospital to work with kids with cancer, never in my wildest dreams. Yet, working with them has created a passion to serve, to care, to help, and to love that goes to the core of my being. I have become gentler, more understanding and more compassionate with everyone who comes into contact with me because of my experience working with these children.

These young teachers have helped me step up to another level, to become more than I was and to continue to learn and strive to step up even more, way beyond what I thought possible. Who would have thought it would be possible to do EFT inside a hospital cancer wing in the treatment room during spinal taps, on gurneys before surgeries, at their bedside and in the waiting area? These young teachers have taught me lessons about being strong, showing a good face, being brave and even when it is necessary to crawl into a fetal position to protect yourself. These children have inspired me to dig deeper, find what simple little tapping sequences, words and images help them release fears, traumas and pains, as well as step up, choose to heal, and empower themselves. It is a collaborative effort as I could not do what I’m doing without them. We have come together to learn and grow together. They inspire me daily. They touch my heart deeply, these beautiful souls who I’ve come to love deeply and appreciate beyond words.

I’ve had every emotion possible since I began working with these children. Anything from sadness about seeing children with such terrible illnesses, shame for my own weaknesses, anger at the brutality of our current treatments, frustration and irritation when I don’t know how to reach a child, helplessness when a child is hurting or leaving body and I couldn’t seem to find the key to help them feel better, to despair at the loss of my favorite children as they had become dear friends. I’ve managed to do a lot of tapping on my own issues around working with these children. It has been crucial. I went in with a naivety about “let’s see what happens” to falling in love with the children and becoming so passionate about this work, to deep sobs of anguish, frustration and feelings that I had failed one I cared for because I couldn’t step up and had backed away because of my own fears of going deeper into the emotions of seeing death in front of me, then losing that dear child. I’ve called upon friends to tap with me when I couldn’t deal with the grief of that loss while knowing that I needed to move through the standard 13 months of grief in a few hours or days because more children were in the hospital waiting for me to help them. I had to step up and move on, remember deeply her presence in my life, take what I learned with her, and apply it more profoundly with the ones that remained and were calling out for my guidance.

I’ve felt absolute joy, delight, pleasure, peace and pure love as I interact with these children on a daily basis. We have FUN feeling better, while learning how to feel better, learning that it’s ok to feel better, while choosing to feel good and to heal. The peels of laughter that come as we tap, visualize and joke around fill the hospital room with the delight of life. That is pure healing in my eyes. Seeing each moment of that joy knowing that it has improved the quality of life of some young child, their parent, a nurse observing us, is something that profoundly moves me. To be part of that depth of choice, of transformation is a personal blessing that fills my heart to the brim. Learning that one of my favorite kids has taken what I taught him home with him, continues to apply it on a daily basis and then taught his whole family and friends to tap with him thereby creating his own healing community reminds me of how gracefully children pick up and use what they know in their hearts works for them. I never realized how touching the life of one child could change so many until the day I learned what this child had done. I know now that many of these children go home and teach their friends and family to tap with them. They are improving the quality of life of many more people than I could even have imagined when I first stepped into the hospital and because of it, I see the greater purpose of the illness in their lives.

My dream is to share with the world what I’ve experienced and learned with the children and their families because I would love to see more and more children heal of their emotional wounds, the ones that are the beginning of these illnesses. I would love each inner child part within all of us adults to heal alongside these children like mine has. I would love to know that each person is empowered to choose to feel good, be happy and live life filled with love.

I’ve shared only a small portion of what I’ve experienced with these beautiful children and their families. I’ve done so to give you an idea of how far reaching a simple intention to help and be of service can expand when you listen to the inspiration in your heart and take the first step. It ripples out from there with every subsequent step you take until something so amazing has transpired that you stand in awe of it all.