Would you like to EMPOWER these two lovely girls?
I know I do. How can you do so, you ask? It’s simple. Donate either copies
of “The Dragon with Flames of Love” in Spanish for Mia and Marcela, or click
the “donate” button on the right side of the page to donate funds so that
books can be purchased for them and all the children waiting to have their
How will “The Dragon with Flames of Love” EMPOWER these children?
* It provides them with a powerful technique “EFT” to manage their emotions, and
create hope and faith that their bodies can heal.
* It is filled with real-life stories that help children with serious illnesses
overcome their fears, encounter ways in which they can communicate with
their bodies, and create images of how they’d like their bodies to self-heal.
* It helps them indirectly by helping their parents release stress so that they
can better support their children.
* It is beautifully illustrated and designed with warm colors and illustrations
that inspire, encourage and motivate them.
EMPOWER a child today, you can be a part of making a child’s life better.
Click the image of the book to order.
Support a Child in Need – Get Your Copy of “The Dragon with Flames of Love” Now
After 6 ½ years of working with children with serious illnesses, one of my greatest desires is to help children and the ones who love them take the struggle out of having a serious illness. Does that seem like a big goal? Well, yes it is, but one that is worthwhile.
I am a practical, result-oriented person who likes powerful, yet simple tools. I want everyone to be able to use them. That’s why I love EFT or Tapping. It is so easy to use that even 2 and 3 years can use it. Older children can use it. Parents can use it. It is works quickly so that relief can be felt in minutes. For me, these are key aspects of EFT that make it an extremely useful tool in a hospital setting.
Even though I love helping the children in Oaxaca, I know there are so many more children in the world that would benefit from my experience with these children and the technique. Thus, I wrote a book about my hands-on experiences and real-life experiences in order to share my insights, successes and wisdom. I would like you to be able to use Tapping as a practical, everyday tool for your child’s and your own life.
Let this beautifully illustrated book inspire you as well as bring relief, peace and hope.
Support a Child in Need – Get Your Copy of “The Dragon with Flames of Love” Now
by Jennifer Ludders
Although of course all of the kids on the cancer ward are precious in their own way, there are a few who definitely stand out for me in my memory. Little 3-year-old Lupita is one of these. The spark that shone through her bright brown eyes made it clear to me when I met her that she had a very wise old soul in a small bloated body.
She had been in the hospital for more than three months receiving treatment. Only patches of hair remained on her head from the chemotherapy and her body was covered in little pink splotches, a sign that immunity is low and more platelets are needed. When I first met Lupita, she did not look like she was in particularly good shape. She had clumps of blood under her nose and seemed very much in pain. Her mother was by her side day and night – she couldn’t even go to the bathroom or shower without Lupita screaming out for her. Like a couple of other mothers in the room with their babies, Lupita’s mother slept every night on her chair at the bedside, resting her head next to her daughter’s and only changing clothes about once a week.
A couple days after I arrived, Lupita’s condition worsened. Like Miriam, she experienced a fever, but her little body was already very weak from a prolonged period of deterioration. Her mother looked extraordinarily distraught and distant as she sat beside Lupita, weeping. It didn’t look like Lupita would make it through the night. I did some Reconnective Healing for both Lupita and her mother. Deborah did some Reiki and sent out a message to her contacts requesting more energy and healing for Lupita, to which many people enthusiastically responded.
Later that day, Deborah returned to the hospital to work with another patient. She stopped by the cancer ward to get a tapping points sheet and Lupita called out to her while she was way down the hall: “Deborah!!!” Surprised, Deborah went into the room to find Lupita sitting up, surrounded by toys, with a huge smile on her face. Was this really the same little girl whose condition had been so grave just a few hours before? Deborah was amazed, as was I when I heard about it. But sure enough, the next day when I went in, Lupita was exactly the same – sitting up energetically, playing, acting silly and showing me how she likes to tap on herself.
Her spirit was showing itself so brightly and it was clear that, even without words, she was saying to us all: “Don’t underestimate me! I still have stuff to do here in this life, even if it’s just to show you how resilient I can be.” She sure did show me.
by Jennifer Ludders
Miriam, a 17-year-old, arrived in the pediatric oncology ward the same day I did, projecting a half-smile as she attempted to mask her pain. Her mother, who was by her side, didn’t even attempt to hide the troubles that bore down heavily on her face and shoulders. Deborah introduced herself to them both as an EFT practitioner who has been working in the hospital for almost 5 years, helping kids and their families with the emotional aspects of the illness. She explained that tapping has incredible effects on our state of wellbeing and health, and said that she would be available to work with both of them and teach them tools to feel better. She went over to Miriam and began tapping with her about how difficult it was to be in the hospital, about missing her friends and family, and other aspects. She even tapped on the phrase: “Even though I’m wearing this mask, pretending to be happy”, which by the end of the tapping session had translated into a hesitant but genuine smile.
The next day Deborah brought Miriam a TappyBear, which she embraced immediately and never left her arms thereafter. I had more of a chance to talk to Miriam and get to know her. She was from a small village several hours away from Oaxaca by bus – too far for her friends to come visit. However, she had talked to her two best friends, Sophia and Caro, on the phone before I’d arrived. She seemed to be settling in, though still very sad about being in the hospital so far from her family and friends. I asked her if she wanted to tap on that sadness and she nodded her head. So we tapped on the blue sadness in her chest and she allowed herself to cry, which I encouraged, telling her how important it was to really feel her feelings so that they could be released.
Early the following week, Miriam was in high spirits. Her mother had braided her hair and she even had a splash of pink lipstick, which brightened her radiant smile. She said she was feeling good and I started becoming hopeful that she would be able to make a full recovery and go home early. But surprisingly, the next day Miriam had a fever. She was huddled in a fetal position on her side, with her mother standing above hugging her and crying. All of her bed sheets were soaked with sweat. Deborah said that it is not uncommon for the kids to have fevers as they undergo treatment – usually their bodies are trying to dispel the toxic affects of the chemotherapy. Most likely she would be just fine.
However, when Deborah and I went into the room the following day, Miriam was no longer in her bed. My heart sank. “Where was she?” We asked the nurse and the nurse said in a very matter-of-fact tone, without even looking up from her chart,”Se murió.” “She died.” I was in shock. How could this have happened? She seemed so primed for swift recovery!
The other two kids who shared Miriam’s room were asleep when it happened so they didn’t know. However, their mom’s knew and were clearly shaken, realizing that the same thing could just as easily happen to their own little ones. Deborah pulled them into another room and tapped with them. She tapped to address that very fact, that even though this had happened to Miriam, it didn’t mean it would happen to their child too. Each child is different and has his/her own healing journey. Yet it was natural to feel sad and it was natural to be scared. I was able to shed a few tears for Miriam during that tapping session, which I think indirectly also gave the other mothers permission to feel their sadness.
Miriam’s death brought home the harsh reality of working with kids with cancer – many do not survive their treatment. Why some choose to stay while others, such as Miriam, choose to leave their bodies remains a mystery. However, one thing is certain: the sweet image of Miriam with her braid and pink smile tightly holding onto TappyBear, will ever remain etched in my heart.
by Jennifer Ludders
In addition to providing emotional support for the kids, Deborah works closely with the children’s parents, who also crave support and can benefit greatly from EFT. Usually they are far away from home, their other children and their normal supporting network and, although they are suffering, they are usually determined to stay “strong” for their child. Being strong to them often means showing no sign of sadness or emotional vulnerability. However, energetically no doubt the children can sense when their parents are holding back feelings as opposed to when they are feeling open and positive. This has a huge effect on the child’s state of wellbeing and health.
I became quite friendly with Maria, the mother of one of the babies with Leukemia, Yamilet. One day Maria seemed particularly sad so I sat and comforted her for a while. She didn’t want to tap but just seemed to want to talk and be comforted. After a while she started asking me about the U.S., telling me that she had lived in Los Angeles for two years. She had made the dangerous illegal crossing through the desert with a “coyote” (people trafficker) for eight days and crossed the border near Nogales, Arizona, as part of a group of 30 people, ten of whom were women.
Once in California she moved around, working in agriculture and on a meat processing plant. She said the work was hard but similar to her village near the coast in Oaxaca. After two years, she had to leave California because her mother in Oaxaca was sick and she didn’t know how long she would live. The second time Maria tried to make the illegal crossing across the desert she wasn’t so lucky – she got picked up by “miga” (immigration) and sent back to Mexico.
Maria had had many hardships in her life, but she said nothing came even close to having a daughter with cancer. She said it was ironic because her other daughter was born very thin and weak but ultimately turned out to be quite healthy. By contrast, Yamilet was extremely healthy when she was born and began walking very early on. However one day she fell; her feet swelled up the size of grapefruits, she became very pale and couldn’t seem to recover. Maria began taking her to many different doctors and hospitals in her village and eventually the capital, but no one could figure out what was wrong. It was only after searching for more than a month that she came to the Hospital General and was told that Yamilet had Leukemia.
Now Yamilet, who usually sits very quietly, was looking around with her big brown eyes. She has had three chemo treatments and only has small patches of hair on her head. Maria sleeps in the chair next to her every night waiting for the news that Yamilet’s condition is good enough to take her home now.
She asked me if it was possible for Yamilet to be cured of her condition, looking at me as if I might hold some ultimate truth in my hands. This was the second time I’d been asked that question in less than a week. I emphasized to Maria that I am not a medical doctor. Then I told her – based on what I’d heard Deborah tell another parent with the same question – that recovery is always possible and the chances are greatest if Yamelit keeps her immunity high. This is why green vegetable drinks and very little sugar are recommended, as this gives her body more strength to heal itself.
I told her that it is also particularly helpful for Maria and her family to maintain good self care, allowing themselves to feel their emotions as they arise (something tapping can greatly help with) so that she can stay emotionally balanced and provide a sense of grounding and presence for Yamilet. She asked more about the drinks and said she wanted to tap next time I came. The next day we tapped on how sad she felt, missing all of her children so far away and afraid that Yamilet might not live through this. She told me afterwards she felt a sense of peace and calm that she hadn’t felt since before Yamilet had got sick.
by Jennifer Ludders
For most of April, I had the privilege of visiting the Oaxaca Project to see first-hand the transformative work Deborah Miller has been doing with kids who have cancer. Having lived in Mexico before and encountered dire conditions at public hospitals there previously, I was struck at how light the atmosphere was in the pediatric oncology ward when we walked in, especially considering the grave conditions of the children and the effects of this on their families.
Deborah explained to me that the atmosphere hadn’t always been this way. When she first began working in the ward almost five years ago, there was a dark, heavy feel to the place. When she got home, she used to have to shower immediately to shake it off. Now, however, it was quite different. When Deborah walked in, I noticed how the kids lit up. She moved around the ward like a vibrant bumblebee from flower to flower, spreading her nectar in the form of humor and love. In her wake, the kids were almost always left laughing. Their parents seemed relieved. It was quite a privilege to observe and I could easily understand what kept Deborah engaged and returning every day. My heart was captured by those amazing children after only a few minutes in their presence.
Deborah had warned me that working with kids with cancer is not an easy endeavor, and many good-intentioned people who are very sensitive just cannot handle it. Seeing the bald heads, the arms tied up to IVs, and knowing the slim recovery rate as a result of their grave illness – and especially the harsh effects of chemotherapy – I could understand why. I knew it would be a balancing act for me to offer an open, compassionate heart, while keeping those same heartstrings protected from being plucked too harshly by the uncertain circumstances. In addition to my heart, my mind would also be pestered for explanations as to how and why a divine loving universe could allow such tragedy to strike such young, beautiful children. In short, I too would need to do a lot of tapping!
As I have evolved spiritually and onto a professional healing path, I have come to appreciate greatly the mind-body-spirit connection. I believe that our emotional states – and particularly the suppression of certain feelings over time – are hugely influential in chronic illness. Louise Hay’s explanation of how childhood wounding and negative thought patterns eventually manifest in our bodies over time as chronic illness makes sense to me. But when it comes to children developing terminal illness, especially babies, this explanation seems much less satisfying. How do you explain it when Lupita, a 3-year-old girl with a devoted mother, gets Leukemia? Or happy-go-lucky five-year-old Mia develops a tumor in her stomach? Children who have barely had a chance to develop patterns in this lifetime and who still get cancer cause a gap in my understanding that naturally leads to broader, more complex spiritual questions.
On my first day at the hospital there were some 14 children on the ward. About eight of them were in beds and the rest on chairs in the outside area, with IVs attached to their arms, watching TV, mostly with their parents. I struck up a conversation with an 11-year-old boy who told me his name was Jesus. He was extremely articulate and had an incredible sweetness about him. I asked him if he had tapped with Deborah. “Oh yes! I do it all the time,” he told me. He said that tapping had helped him tremendously. Before he hadn’t been able to swallow his medicine, but tapping with Deborah changed that and now he has no problem with taking medicine.
He said he also uses it on his own when he’s feeling scared or nervous about different procedures and it helps him to calm him down. He told me in a rather matter-of-fact way that he had been extremely sick for a while, but was experiencing a lot of progress and feeling better. I was totally blown away by this child’s maturity and courage as he spoke. Deborah later told me that Jesus had been on the verge of death for about 6 days. All the staff, including her, were convinced that he was going to pass on. Instead, he made a miraculous recovery and is maintaining his resilience as he undergoes further treatment. It was humbling to be in his presence.
In the room with six beds, there were two little girls named Mia, both of whom were about the same age (five years old) and had similar gum-baring smiles. Mia 2, as I’ve begun calling her, loves Minnie Mouse. I asked her if I could tap with her and she nodded her head. I asked her how she was feeling. “Bien” she responded. How was her body feeling today? “Bien”. It didn’t take me long to realize that many of the children, even at a very young age, were not comfortable with expressing their feelings and had learned to pretend and say they were fine even when they weren’t. After tapping on what a great little girl she is and how intelligent and sweet and strong she is, she said that she had some sadness. Where was the sadness? In her eyes. What was the color of the sadness? Blue. So we tapped on that: “Even though I have this blue sadness in my eyes, I’m such a wonderful little girl…”
Then her mom appeared, interrupting and telling me that Mia had been feeling pain in her stomach. Was she still feeling pain? Yes, she told me – it was lime green. So we tapped on the lime colored pain in her tummy (which I later learned is where she has a tumor). Did she want to send it love or send it away? She wanted to send it far away. It didn’t take much tapping before she said that the pain was gone. How was the pain in her eyes? Gone, she told me. It was hard to know if it truly was gone or if she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear, but she did appear to be more at peace. It was certainly a beautiful interaction – the first of many I would have with this special little girl.
Even though I haven’t been posting much on the blog of late, my work with the children has continued weekly.
They continue to teach me how to be compassionate, loving and ever present to their needs in the moment.
I’m going to share some articles written by Jennifer Ludders, a woman who came to work with me in April 2012. I think you’ll enjoy her perspective of the kids, EFT and my work with the children.
Here’s one reason:
María Guadalupe received her very own TappyBear on Sept 28, 2011. Look how María Guadalupe has changed in just two weeks. She’s just 3 years old, and she knows how to use EFT.
Make a child happy with a TappyBear! Give a TappyBear to your own child, the child of a loved one, or donate one to a child with cancer. They will love you for it just as Maria Guadalupe does.
Facebook: Kids are the Key
Working with Paulina has been one of those amazing experiences. She certainly is one of my best teachers. I’ll share in my way what transpired in order to understand what you’ll see in the video.
Paulina has Wilms Tumor. She lost a kidney first then had tumors in her chest. She was given the standard radiation treatments for these tumors. Unfortunately she also had two tumors in her brain. Back in May 2010 she got really bad and went into a semi-coma for almost 3 weeks with such low life force that I feared she wouldn’t make it. Since she was not awake I started tapping with her parents to help them deal with the sadness and stress of seeing their daughter in such a dire state.
After her treatments and lots of emotional support via EFT, Reiki and other energy techniques, she was awake. Of course, awake but grumpy and angry and not willing to get up. The Head Oncologist told me she is capable of sitting up but wouldn’t. I told him, “I’ll go work on that today.” Here is what transpired.
With this information I started tapping with her as she was lying on her bed. I joked with her that I heard she didn’t want to sit up. She nodded. I started tapping on her while letting her know I wasn’t going to force her to do anything she didn’t want to. In fact I tapped that she could stay lying in bed as long as she wanted. She was like a princess with “servants”, you know all those nurses etc. She could stay there forever. Then I looked at the girl in the next bed coloring. I tapped that I thought it would be more fun to color, or how about jump on the bed. I’m sure the nurses might get mad but that’s ok. We’d only have to wash the sheets. Then I said how about we dance. Wouldn’t that be fun! I saw a spark come into her eyes.
I stopped at this point and we joked around. The next morning I had a very pleasant surprise. This little girl after lying flat on her bad for almost 3 weeks was sitting up, yes, propped up with towels, but sitting. Even her nurse was amazing at the difference as she was one of the people trying to get her to sit up for days.
I continue to tap with Paulina about coloring, jumping on the bed, dancing. We included what skirt she’d wear – her blue skirt. What shoes – her mother’s new brown shoes. That became our tapping routine about how much fun it would be.
Within days she was sitting up on her own talking about dancing every day. Then her father brought in music. She would sing along. I came in and we did what I call a “bed dance” as she had yet been up to walk. She sat up, we put on the music and she “danced” by moving her shoulders and arms. It was beautiful!
Following this dance, the next day she was up walking with her mother’s help. Watching this process was so beautiful.
Shortly after she and I were dancing next to her bed. Finally the joy of jumping on the bed.
Enjoy my dancing star Paulina.